Monday, March 07, 2005

Loosing in the sky with diamonds

Mine, Not Yours--Fear and Anger, Lust
and Possession, Murder--of Course

I will take twenty minutes now,
not to think or ponder, not to regret
nor brood nor fear, but just to say

I hurt, that I have entered an ugly
time, the dark thing that has always
stood between you and me. And,
because its mere potentiality was
what stretched your distancing arm,
I thought I'd call it forth--a stupid,
angry thing to do, I know. But I could
not bear being shut away by you
because of something that did not
happen, as if betrayed for holding
onto light, unrewarded for fending
off the dark (as if that was not its own
I walked to the morning sun,
but this darkness would not budge.
Who invited this thing that stars shun
into my life? What sentient being said,
give him wine to drink until his feet are
thick with darkness?
If only I could extrapolate light from a
sticky piece of warm rice, the red-gold
light of tea made from forty-seven roots
of sorrow. Having sipped it, a man may
step inside its center.
After that I can say, God, I release you.
Ex-wife, I release you. Mother, father, I
release you. Teacher, you are released.
It is a lesson learned. Letting go so as not
to lose one's grip. Twenty minutes are up
so I must end now.
But you, best girl ever, you are harder to
let go of than the rest. Loosing you may
take another twenty minutes yet.

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